Mar 04 2011

omegle part deux

oh my gosh. so i haven’t been on freakin’ omegle in a couple of days considering the following factors:

1) i have a life that includes a boyfriend, school and well, better things to do with my time.

2) school has consumed literally every hour of my waking being.

3) let’s face it, any anonymous online chat room is filled with sexual predators aka creepy old men that wait til their wives go to bed and then whip out the nast to some random, unsuspecting 15-year-old in ohio. wtf.

but anyways, decided to go on tonight due to sheer boredom and also the desire to laugh really hard. here is the first conversation i had:

Stranger: horny male here. looking for sexy female whose willing to trade pictures.You: HERROYou: no.You: but i will talk to you!Stranger: will you fuck me?You: no.Your conversational partner has disconnected.
what is wrong with people? i honestly do not understand. why does the anonymity of these chat rooms unleash the primal sexual desire that cannot be satisfied in these peoples’ REAL lives? (as opposed to fake lives…)
You: HELLO FRIEND!Stranger: V/P?You: what the hell is that? velociraptor or platypus?Stranger: V/P? frienStranger: V= vagina and P= penisYou: ahhh i just figured it out.You: wellYou: maybe a combination of the two.Stranger: dont make me boredYou: how am i making you bored? i pretty much just told you i was transgender and that is FAR from boringStranger: what is ur name frien?You: manuelYou: what is yours?Stranger: jessYou: where are you from jess?Stranger: venesiaStranger: uYou: where is venesia?Stranger: milanYou: italy?Stranger: yaYou: i was there in august actually.You: i am in the USStranger: oh coolYou: yesYou: ever smoked crac?You: *crack?Stranger: yaaYou: really?Stranger: mmm,…You: it is crazy huhStranger: yaaYou: when i smoked it the last time i hooked up with a bunch of porn stars and then proceeded to eat my couchStranger: manuelStranger: mmmYou: yes mmmYou: it was a delicious couchStranger: dont try to me me horny manuelYou: do you have a couch fetish jess?Stranger: oh,..manuel dont againYou: i knew it! you are a couch freak!Stranger: i dont like that questionYou: did you know that some people have wool fetishes? they are called wooliesStranger: let me tell u somethoingYou: yes?You: tell me jess from venesia.Stranger: I THINK U ARE MY SHIT FROM MY ASSHOLE,..BECAUSE U MAKE ME FREAK AND BOREDStranger: byeYou: see ya jessStranger: noYou: i thought you were leaving.Stranger: actealy i need friendYou: because i am your shit from your assholeStranger: sorryStranger: apologizeYou: why would i still want to talk to you. i am a sensitive transgendered american.You: it is okayYou: i forgive youStranger: thanks manuelYou: but actually i have to leave. it’s late her, goodbye.You: *hereStranger: anyway l;jawlfkdaz sckYour conversational partner has disconnected.
yeah, REALLY weird. pretty sure “jess from venesia” was some weirdo in brooklyn bored in his basement.
You: HEYYYYStranger: hiYou: you sound bored.Stranger: im notStranger: i said one wordYou: okYou: soYou: what’s upStranger: aslYou: 37 male ohioYour conversational partner has disconnected.WTF is up with people hating on 30-year-old males that live in the midwest? i don’t really get it. i have tried this multiple times and everyone disconnects after i tell them my “stats”. but if i tell them my real “stats” they are 9/10 VERY interested. interesting sociological points are raised (not to get all serious) from this topic.
You: helloStranger: hiYou: first thing’s first i was a hooker for 10 yearsStranger: ok, why did u stop?You: i got AIDS :/Stranger: i’m sorryYou: it’s alright.Stranger: you’re sick if ur joking about this just so u knowYou: no i’m really not.Your conversational partner has disconnected.
i guess i am sick. 
LAST ONE:
WTF! so my last one was really great until the dumbass disconnected. i was talking to him about sex predators and napoleon dynamite and the whole conversation was just really great. UGH.
that’s all folks.